‘’No Be By Force To Wear Pant For Asaba” – The Chronicles Of Corper Henry
This really cracked me up!! Read below:
I won’t die in Asaba. This I know for sure. I only came here to obey the clarion call with dedication and selflessness. But with some of the extremely weird experiences I have actually gone through, I can only pray to come out of here in one piece. Just the other day in my area, a lady was stripped Unclad inside a market by a woman and to my greatest surprise she wasn’t wearing any pant!
In Asaba, there is no law that states that everybody must wear pant. I have come to realize that it is not even a norm. It is actually a personal obligation. A good number of ladies are uncomfortable with the idea of wearing pant. Don’t even think of preaching to them, because they might slap you!
Two days ago, I had gone to hang out with my friend at his neighbourhood only to witness the shock of my life. A young lady had gone to the market to buy iced fish. She was wearing a very short shirt that almost revealed her butt. Adorned with a gold necklace and a nose ring, she cat-walked towards the fish seller. One thing led to another and before I knew what was happening, they had started quarrelling.
‘Why e be say your fish dey always dey expensive?’ the young lady asked lifting the fish in the air.
‘No be force to buy from my hand na, If my own too expensive, go another place go buy’ the madam who sold the fish responded.
‘Make una dey fear God for this una business’ the young girl advised as the fish slipped from her hands and landed in the mud. And that was where all hell broke loose.
‘Shey I tell you say make you carry your wahala go another place abi?’ the woman thundered grabbing the lady by the neck and shaking her head. ‘Oya pick my fish go wash am now now!’ she barked. But the young girl was more concerned about her necklace and as she struggled to remove the woman’s hand from her neck, she realized that her gold necklace had been broken in the process. She had managed to grab it before it landed in the mud.
‘You no go pick my fish?’ The woman barked in anger. The lady turned around in an attempt to walk away and that was when the woman got really infuriated. ‘Pick my fish go wash am or you pay me the money’ the fish seller shouted as she held her clothes.
‘Madam you go first pay for this gold wey you just cut and I no go fit bend down pick your fish, na short skirt I wear’ the young girl responded as she struggled with the woman.
Wetin concern me with wetin you wear? Na me tell you make you wear this kind skirt? If you like dey waka Unclad you must pick my fish.’ The woman thundered as she gave the girl a dirty slap and dragged the lady’s skirt up to the viewing pleasure of the crowd who had gathered around the scene. And that was it – unadulterated buttocks in all its glory, no tight, no pant, no G-string, just natural buttocks inside Asaba market!
That day, for the very first time, I sensed that my service year was finally coming to an end and of course, I had completed my task in Asaba and I needed to go somewhere else before I die.
Funny enough, the young girl wasn’t ashamed at all. She didn’t put up a fight. She dragged her skimpy skirt down, went back home, changed her clothes and put on more decent ones and in less than an hour time, she was back inside the market but this time, with a truck of policemen. They bundled the fish seller inside the van and as they headed back to the police station, I overheard a policeman shouting at the woman ‘No be by force to wear pant for Asaba oo!’ ‘Moreover, if some of una wan do the tin, no be fling una dey fling pant comot?’ Another policeman inquired sarcastically.